Try the Retirement Home Diet –

You’ll Never Forget It

It’s the latest diet fad among us seniors. We’ve all been through a hundred different diets in our long lives and now we have our very own – the “Over 70’s Special” diet, guaranteed to keep you remembering the good old days: this diet of one of Fatty Fish and Green Tea. The Fatty Fish will fill you with Omega 3 which will keep Dementia, Alzheimer’s and other unmentionable diseases away from your door, and Green Tea will fill you with antioxidants which will deal with many other problems such as rust.

This diet, fortified with a little garlic to keep other bugs away will also keep unwanted relatives, neighbors and pests away and allow you to age peacefully and gracefully. The Omega 3 will keep your brain cells well lubricated and nimble and the Green Tea, a powerful antioxidant will stop rust from attacking the metal parts of your memory cells. There are other important foods that we have on our “Over 70’s Special” diet: one is chocolate which I have been shouting about for years and another is red wine, another personal favorite. In addition we are all getting a bunch of vitamins and when no one is watching we sneak odd shots of single malt whiskey, one of the world’s great lubricants, to keep our joints in shape.
We ruefully remember some of the great meals in our past, the huge steaks and fries, the burning hot curries that set our insides on fire, the cholesterol packed goose liver savories and the chicken liver patés. Now for many of us it’s pay-back time, a world of no-salt, spice-less, fat-less, butter-less and taste-less fare. Fear not, the new “Over 70’s Special” diet, has been designed to save you, a diet of Fatty Fish and Green Tea to brighten your days and lengthen the evening of your life. Enjoy!