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Samply Entry

Dear Dating Diary,

By Hannah Parsons

 

Dear Dating Diary,

Wow.

Thursday night  was perfect. I had the perfect date. HE was perfect…. Benn… My prince charming…

He’s not like any man. He’s different. Special.

What can I say -- It was an instant click. He’s tall, handsome, oozing masculinity, yet sensitive. He laughed at all my jokes – and I actually found his funny. We had great conversations. Deep conversations. Meaningful conversations. He gets me! And I think I get him. Really, I feel like he also had a great time – that he also really likes me…

Hold on, just checking my phone – nope. He still hasn’t called. But that’s to be expected. I mean, it’s only been 2 days -- But I can’t stand this waiting. I would call again, but I’ve already left 2 voice messages and I don’t want to seem needy….

Truth is, I’m sure he just hasn’t had the time yet. He’s very busy. Running around all day from one business meeting to the next… He's an entrepreneur, you know. A really creative individual. I'm sure he didn’t want to call in-between his meetings, then it would have to be a rushed conversation, and that wouldn't seem polite. He's very polite.

Although two days….

Maybe I sent the wrong signal…. Maybe he thinks I don’t like him. Yeah, he’s probably AFRAID to call, he doesn’t want to be rejected. After all, I'm also a beautiful, smart and creative individual, right? I shouldn't knock that. Not to mention how excited he became when he learned I actually cook my own Potato Kugel. To him I must seem the complete package! He likes me, and he's afraid I'll reject him.

Now that I think of it, when I told him “I had a great time tonight” there’s no reason for him to believe I was serious, right? People say that as a polite way to end a date. Oh! Why must I always play so "hard to get"! Couldn't I have left my poker face behind for a change? Now the poor guy is trying to muster up the guts to face my possible rejection of him.

But still… TWO days??

We shouldn’t have talked about previous relationships…. He probably thinks I’m still hung-up on my ex. I shouldn’t have told him what bothered me about my ex. Now’s he’s probably convinced that he has those qualities too…. Idiot! I’ve made him insecure.

Or maybe it’s that compliment I gave him: “Wow, you know so much!”. Probably sounded like a back-handed compliment. Like “you’re so full of yourself, you think you know so much”. My vet always said my presence was intimidating. I shouldn't have told him I'm an actress. He probably thinks I'm as successful as Natalie Portman and make more than him. I've completely emasculated the poor guy.

Oh, man. This is totally my fault.

I came off as just another man-hater. All critical of him.

Or maybe the problem is I came off too feminine…. I shouldn’t have told him my favorite color was pink, or that I have shoes to match every outfit I own…. Or that I got a manicure set for my birthday…. And – what was I thinking – meeting him in a dress? He probably had visions of our honeymoon in Paris with me dragging him from one fashion designer store to the next... I should have come in Jeans and a T-shirt. Show I was “cool” enough. Maybe asked my brother for a reference or two about football. I'm sure he thinks I'm one of those girls who can't hang out with the guys….

But why then, would he hold my hand?

That’s it. He thinks I’m cheap. Too easy. I shouldn’t have let him hold my hand. Who does that? Really! He probably thinks I’ll let anyone just come and hold my hand – I shudder to think what else he assumed I‘ll allow! No wonder, who would want to date the easiest chick on the block? No challenge, no exclusivity….

Then again, it was just holding hands…

Or maybe the problem is we ONLY held hands. He’s probably thinking I’m playing hard to get…. That I want him to jump through hoops for me… that I’m full of myself….

This is all my parents fault. They’re the ones who raised me to be standoffish. Let the guy “work” to get you. After all, isn't it enough he made the first move? Picked me up, paid for dinner? Then he tries to hold my hand and I don't even make eye contact with the guy! Who do I think I am? I didn’t throw him a bone the whole evening!

Now that I think of it, that’s exactly what he thought! That lowlife! Picking me up, paying for my dinner, holding my hand! Of course! How didn’t I see past him? He DID think I was easy. He was HOPING I was easy! After all, at the end of the date didn’t he offer to walk me all the way to the door? And isn’t that code for “invite me in and I will do unseemly things to you”? And didn’t I totally not get the hint? And totally NOT invite him in? That miscreant! He was playing me the whole night! Pretending to laugh at my jokes – pretending to be funny!! So interested in my stories and what I think of politics, global warming and the disappearance of the African bees!

Good riddance! My parents are right. I DO deserve more than that.  He’s just a typical disgusting man. That jerk! I wouldn’t go out with him if you paid me to! I have more self-respect than that! Why, I wouldn’t  even – just a minute, that’s my phone –

“Hello? Benn! Hey how are you? Really?.... me too…. No I’m not just saying that. I really had a great time… yeah, totally…. Tomorrow night? Sure! Works for me! When? Okay, I’ll be ready at eight. See you then! Byeeee!”

Scratch that. My bad.

It was the perfect date.

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